"You are a great kisser." What adult still utters this phrase as their first real compliment to a woman? (Apparently the answer is lots of them.) And how does one respond? Especially when you do not reciprocate that feeling?
I mean, early high school, I used to think this was a great compliment. Late high school and during college, after realizing it seemed everyone used this cheesy line, I figured it was just a nicety, like telling someone they look nice even though their pants have gotten a bit snug and their makeup kind of makes them look like a hooker (a cheap clown hooker at that).
During my stint of long-term relationships, I didn't have to listen to ridiculous cheesy compliments such as this (or at least don't remember any of them saying anything so idiotic) and part of me had forgotten the awkwardness that comes out of people's mouths. However, my recent single status has made me wonder why men still use these at our age. I have focused on this one in particular because on more than one occasion, this has been the first compliment someone that I am dating cares to give me, which makes what otherwise would have been a pleasant date, awkward. What happened to the old standbys of "I like your hair (or dress or anything I happen to have on me)"? However, this line drops and my face immediately goes blank and I mutter something along the lines of "ummm, thanks I guess" as I walk inside quickly shutting the door behind me.
So why do men still think this is the best first compliment to give? It is that they think by telling me I am a good kisser I will think, "if they think I am good at that, they will probably think I am good at other sexual acts, I should let them inside and inside me"? Or perhaps there isn't much else worth complimenting (but then why would they be calling for second and third dates)? But, I feel that typically this stupid line is supposed to get them the invite in. I mean after they say it, they usually get this intense look on their faces and try to dive back in adding groping hand movements that remind me of a dog pawing at me. (Cause lets be honest, if you need this much work with just your lines, you probably also need quite a bit on your foreplay.)
Sadly for men, most women have already decided whether you are getting any further than a good night kiss and not only for this date but for at least the next few. It takes me about 10 minutes to meet a guy and decide 1) whether I would sleep with you and 2) how long it will take and the amount of effort you have to put in first.
Even more perplexing is when someone says you are a good kisser, but they are clearly a bad kisser. And we aren't just talking that chemistry was missing, but a really bad kisser. You know the ones: there are the biters (in the holy crap I am bleeding way, not in the good way), the suffocaters (you know the ones that open their mouths so wide they pretty much engulf both your mouth and nose so you can't breath), the slobberors, and the no tongues (not that this doesn't have its place, but lack of tongue seems to remove passion at times). And if you are terrible kisser, but think I am a good kisser, does that mean that I am actually a good kisser, or am I also a bad kisser? What the hell kind of message is that? And good compared to whom?
But even with the guys that I am enjoying, this one line makes me cringe. It completely ruins any mood and any chance they had of getting laid. So next time you guys want to compliment a girl, find something a bit more creative, at least for your first one.
To quote Danny Glover, "I am too old for this shit."
